Kim Ingleby: 5 ways to practice self love

Kim Ingleby: 5 ways to practice self love

Self-love and confidence, I believe it's so important.  The courage to let go of self-sabotage and create simple little habits that care for ourselves.  Although it’s much easier to write that in a sentence than actually practise it.  Often, because it is our own thoughts and behaviour, we are a little less patient at finding self-love within.  I promise you, after years of personal self-doubt and fear, the journey to love and value the person you are is empowering, peaceful and gives you choices.  Here are 5 little exercises to try for 5 days to help you grow this Summer...

Notice your internal language

A notebook of lists

Notice your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself. Become aware how often they are useful and helpful, and how often your internal thoughts are self-sabotaging or unkind.  At the end of each day, choose one helpful story and write down how it made you feel. Then take one of the unhelpful thoughts and write down a more useful story you could say to yourself and how this would make you feel.  It doesn’t have to be big self-love at this point, just moving away from the unhelpful comments towards a more patient and kind thought, like you would give to your best friend or a child.

Stand tall and make eye contact

A woman's eye

Self-love and confidence is often reflected in the way we stand, breathe and make eye contact. Today, become aware of your posture, notice if your shoulders are tight or rounded and really focus on standing tall, lengthening your spine and relaxing your shoulders. It may feel unnatural to start with but keep practising. If your posture is good, start to practise making positive eye contact with those you speak to, as well as your reflection in the mirror.  Think of natural, positive comments instead or limiting ones and see how that changes your interactions and flow for the day.  Finally, check in with your breathing.  Take 6 deep breaths morning and night, breathing in positive words of confidence, courage, self-love, strength etc, and exhaling words of anxiety, doubt and stress. These three little tips can make a huge difference if you commit to them every day for 6 weeks.

Who do you want to be?

two friends walking through a field

Today I would like you to write down what you would gain from starting to love the person you are (or like, if love is too much!).  And what you would lose from stopping self-sabotage.  These two questions can really help you to understand yourself and start to be a little kinder and more compassionate towards yourself.

Take a compliment

two friends laughing

I love challenging myself and others with this one, as I think it’s a very British thing to brush aside compliments or say 'thank you, but'. So today’s challenge is: if someone gives you a compliment or says 'well done', say 'thank you'.  Just 'thank you' and smile. Not 'thank you', with a ‘but’ or justification, just an acceptance of the compliment. If you would like, later in the conversation, return a genuine compliment or thank them for giving you one, saying how it’s added value to your day.  Accepting compliments allows as much growth for the other person, as giving which often we forget.  Remember it today and see how it changes things for you.

Make time

A small clock

Life is really busy and we often forget to make time for ourselves. Today’s little exercise is to write down all the things, places, music and people who make you feel happy and grow your own self-love. Let your ideas flow, there are no limits and it’s a great exercise to do with your family too.  Once you have finished, circle three on your list and make a plan to commit to making them happen. They can be as simple as taking better care of your nutrition (like making sure you have enough Omega 3 which can directly affect your mood) and sleep, to bigger adventures and perhaps your ‘what ifs’.  Next to the things you have chosen, write down how they will help you grow your self-love.

I'd love to know how you get on growing your self-love, or reducing your self-doubts. You can do the tips, one a day for a week and repeat. Or one a week every day, so it lasts 5 weeks and then let us know how you get on.  I would love to hear and support you, so do reach out if you feel stuck or want to share a positive change.  Kim x

Kim Ingleby has the passion and skills to help you achieve your goals. Following three years of complex neurological, brain and liver problems from Post Weils Encephalitis, Kim has mastered the art of achieving success against all odds. She’s featured on TEDx, sharing her expertise on how to overcome adversity and how to be brave.  She’s raised almost £80k for charity, coached Team GB, Body Confidence for Women and Strictly Come Dancing pros. Kim is a triple award winning personal trainer, DNAFit consultant, NLP confidence master coach and team GB’s sports therapist.

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