1. IT’S TIME TO REIN IN PERI
Perimenopause unlocks a whole new set of symptoms. From the obvious (hot flushes) to the discreet (brain fog, memory glitches), to the discreetly obvious (vaginal dryness). For many women, it feels like chaos.
We turned to Phoebe Liebling for a fresh perspective. Phoebe hit perimenopause at 22, triggered by illness and misdiagnosed coeliac disease. Now a registered nutritional therapist with 14 years of experience, in clinic she focuses on helping women calm their nervous systems first, which she believes is at the root of much of the peri-chaos.
With Phoebe, we explore everything from peri-belly and nutrition to softer daily routines that help women find their footing again.
As she points out, when you're speeding through your mid-forties or fifties, like can feel very different:
- You’re no longer ‘mummy’ in the way you were
- Your parents now depend on you
- You’re the most senior you’ve ever been at work
No wonder we feel anxious. But it’s not just your life or your body that’s the problem. Phoebe suggests that the real issue is that for many of us we’ve stopped listening to what we need.
“Our problem is that we don't listen, and we get in the way. And that's when we get the negative pushback“
2. PERI CHAOS? GET ORGANISED
If your peri self-care routine looks like this: " I've gotta get in an hour of exercise, ground myself, look at the light, get the kids to school, and prep my lunch." You're not alone.
Phoebe sees the root of most midlife symptom chaos isn't just hormones. It's nervous system dysregulation. We're frazzled from trying to be everything at once. Her approach starts with regulating blood sugar and calming the nervous system.
“People really focus on progesterone, oestrogen, and testosterone. But the hormones you actually need to pay attention to are insulin and cortisol. Your blood sugar regulation, muscle activation, and stress response naturally change during perimenopause. And if you don’t address those, life gets a lot harder.”
And FYI: it’s not that stress is the bad guy.
“99% of the time, it’s the fact that your body is living in a heightened state of alertness. And I don’t call it stress, because stress is actually a very good thing. It’s designed to make us fitter, faster, stronger, better. We’ve just forgotten to have boundaries around it.”
That’s why nervous system regulation comes first before expensive supplements or intricate workout regimes. Phoebe’s approach isn’t about leaning into stress (fledgling Goggins fans, stand down).
3. IT’S DEFINITELY NOT: STAY CALM AND CARRY ON
“In perimenopause, doing less is more. Sometimes it’s about listening to your body when it says: something’s not right. I don’t feel safe.”
When the wheels come off, Phoebe uses a rest technique to help her body come back online. She calls these “fire break moments”. Here’s how to give anxiety the French exit.
"Sit somewhere quiet (bedroom, bathroom, outside). Clench your muscles from your toes up to your temples. Remind yourself: “I am safe. I am secure.”
The clenching technique is called progressive muscle reactivation, is a simple way to return to your body and calm your nervous system.
4. A SOFTER DAILY RHYTHM
Phoebe's own mornings are gentle: ceremonial cacao in the morning light of her favourite window, a slow walk, and something savoury with complex carbs for breakfast (yes, bread is fine. Praise be). The first hour, she says, sets the tone for the day.
“If you spike blood sugar in the morning, your cortisol goes up. You’re on a rollercoaster as soon as you’ve woken up, and you have to wait until the next day to reset it. You can feel more tense, more anxious, and nothing really satisfies you.”
Her advice: build routines around things you actually enjoy (remember that?), and do them consistently.
“Consistency is only boring when you’re consistently doing something you don’t enjoy. Because actually, consistently doing something that you love feels like care and it feels nourishing.”
Here’s a gentle rhythm she recommends:
- Morning: Gentle movement (walk, yoga, sunlight) and a proper breakfast with carbs (yum)
- Afternoon: Main exercise session, 15-30 mins max
- Take movement breaks. 15–20 minute movement sessions, 3x daily, instead of one heavy workout
- Evening: wind-down walk after dinner
- Bedtime: 9.30 pm (yep, women need 1.5 hours more sleep during perimenopause).
Move more, sure. But don’t make it miserable.
“Your body never works against you. It’s always trying to protect you”
5. PERIBELLY NEEDS CARBS
Firstly and most importantly. This isn’t a body-shaming exercise. We’re firmly pro-every-type-of-body.
Peri-belly is a thing, and for some it feels really rubbish (we know this firsthand). But it's not inevitable:
“The only reason that women gain weight around their middle during perimenopause is if they're under-fueling and then pushing themselves into a state where their body feels like it needs to hold on to more fat.”
What’s happening? As hormones shift, the body needs more energy to cope with stress. Blood sugar fluctuates, sleep gets disrupted, the nervous system goes out of whack. Many women respond to shifts in weight by cutting carbs and calories. And that is where the loop begins:
“A lot of women are eating non-starchy, fibrous vegetables and protein. So they feel full volume-wise. Then they crave sweets after meals because they don't have enough energy to burn. They end up having a protein bar or a brownie. And I'm like, if you'd had a sandwich, you wouldn't crave that.”
The result: exhaustion, sugar cravings, and a body that clings to fat because, without sufficient carbohydrates, it thinks it’s in starvation mode.
Phoebe’s solution? Carbs, consistency, and enough fuel to keep blood sugar steady.
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Don’t restrict carbs: include proper ones with meals. Potatoes, sourdough, oats, pasta. Yes, sandwiches. Not just fibre or salad.
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Eat properly and often: balanced meals every 3.5-4 hours. Keep timing consistent, don't skip meals and plan ahead to avoid last-minute panic snack attacks (peanut butter on a spoon. We see you).
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Start the day savoury: have a protein-rich breakfast. Avoid sweet cereals or fruit on its own.
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Stay hydrated: electrolytes help your body actually use the water.
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Move gently but often: walks, stretching, strength. Not punishing, sick-inducing workouts.
The big thing: Don’t let yourself get too hungry, don't push yourself too hard. Hunger spikes + over exercising = cortisol spikes = stress peribelly. You can still eat with your family, just adjust the portion sizes.
6. PERI SUPPLEMENTS
With endless peri symptoms and supplements full of marketing fizz that don’t even touch the sides, you're right to be cautious before throwing more cash around.
Phoebe’s advice is to get the fundamentals right first: eat properly and sleep well. Then add targeted support that keeps your nervous system regulated.
Here’s Phoebe's essentials for getting the job done.
- Whole-body support: Omega-3 for cellular health. Studies have shown it can be beneficial for easing depression-like symptoms, hot flushes, vaginal dryness, low mood, brain fog, anxiety, and even supporting cognition (we know an omega-3 brand).
- For anxiety and sleep: Magnesium bisglycinate and 5-HTP (hydroxytryptophan) for calming the nervous system and supporting sleep, especially in winter.
- For gut issues: Magnesium citrate for constipation. Digestive enzymes or Betaine HCL to improve absorption. Bitters or ginger to support motility.
- For skin and hair: Collagen for skin, hair, and nails. Try targeted hair supplements like Megi Wellness (for hair health)
- For nervous system regulation: Alongside magnesium, try electrolytes (unflavoured) for focus and hydration, and CBD oil to help tone down the nervous system
But always remember (Phoebe’s golden rule): “At what point is a recommendation based on science more useful than what your body did when you tried it? “
So above all things, listening to your body is more important than any advice (ours included).
